Maybe blogging is what i needed for this period of time.
I'm getting myself into thousands of thoughts.
Tired over everything.
Studies ain't the last stop for me.
I didn't know what i really want.
And yet i been setting myself in a difficult spot.
Well, i hope everything that had happen is just a dream.
And it will just be back to normal when i woke up.
But it will never be that fake at all.
Sometimes, when things happen, no one can predict even yourself.
I wish to cry out aloud.
Cry and lean on the very person who make me go through so much pains.
Yet he didn't know everything.
In his world, it ain't so complicated.
I agree that i felt secure whenever he is around.
But yet, it ain't love that occur.
The love that never reality.
The faith that never seem real.
Becuz of not yearning much, i landed myself so tiring.
I had no one to speak to until ytd.
She ask did i fall for him ?
I said that i did ask myself before but yet whenever it came to the answer, it'll all be blank.
And maybe she is right, blank mean there will still be a chance.
But yet i realise i'm running away from the answer.
The answer that i never want to know.
The answer that will cuz everything mess up.
There will be the day that he won't be around.
When i got to know that he will be gone, tears caught me up deep in my heart.
Is this just normal worries ?
Or is this love?
He won't get to know how i felt.
Because the truth can never change the fact that it age gap that isn't understanding.
I never want to spoil or change anything right from the being.
Choosing to kept it to myself, i know i'll burst out one day.
But i had no choice.
Tears are just hanging all around my eyes.
Ain't getting right amount of slept ever since that happen.
Whenever i was alone, whenever i shut my eyes, the very incident kept flooding by.
Can i have a choice to turn the clock back to prevent everything if i know it will happen ? ):
Anlene is so mess up this year.
And i ake the choice of not working anymore.
I didn't even turn up for this year W.O.D.
I wanted to go so much, becuz i miss the nurses that i once work with.
Every and each of them. );
But , there nothing for me to move on when toward the boss, i ain't nothing.
So what for should i work for him.
Anyway, i had found a job alr !
Though the pay is super super little, no one will believe i will even work for it ;x
But i'm tired for partime, time to settle down for the period of time :)
I hope i can manage it, i know i can ! (:
Starting work this coming friday.
Bless everything will be alright for me (:
Update some pictures , it long long ago when i change a new pic !
I'm lost.
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