I told myself not to cried.
But i am not even feeling happy at the end of my 17th ~

Maybe that it.
Everything just end it off like this.

I think when ppl are reading through my blog, i might not be in singapore anymore.
Save the celebration.
I don't need it when i don't even feel happy at all.

Am i silly to hold on everything that doesn't belong to me.
For knowing weisheng , knowing adrian, meng, boy and agatha and sam.
Does all this really belong to my life?
Or is it all along i'm adaptting into it?
I wish that i can turn the clock back.
I hope that i never even had know fabian.

BOY:
Maybe i'm thinking much.
But boy, dun you realise you dun even bother calling me over your house ?
You dun even bother sms-ing me ?
The time where you alway make me feel left out cuz of others.
Is it that we're that good that we do nothing and expect thing will turn out good ?
And i can't even see or feel that you really cared.
Ya, maybe i'm just a pest that everyone feel like getting rid of.
But i just wish to be a friend to you that you will at least remember me, if there a need to do thing in cruel way to make you hate or angry with me, i'll because at least you do remember me.
Maybe all along , i'm the only one who thought of going back to the life where we slack without work.
But i'm wrong infact.
You said before, when i need you, you'll be there.
Does it still valid ?
Does you know that i got lot and lot of thing on mind and i just feel like sharing with you ?
Does you know how much a friend you meant to me ?
Even more than my life ?
I think it time to cool everything off.

AGATHA:
It isn't that i don't wish to share with you.
It just that all along i only kept thing to myself.
Even if i mention and said, what different will it make ?
Nothing right ?
Ya, maybe i will felt better after saying.
But i was never happy even after saying.
I don't wish to worsen anything.
Let it just remain like this.

GIRLF RENE:
I don't know is this friend of your impt to you in the past or future.
But sorry for all the anger.
Sorry for avoiding thing whenever i can't face it.
I didn't meant to end this friendship, but what done can't be undone.

I realise something, i'm destroying myself !(:
I feel like i'm left with nothing.
I don't know what i'm struggline for.
But i told myself never never fall this time round.
I hold on myself to love because i don't wish to hurt myself deeper nor avoiding the thing i'm hiding.
I hold myself on in front of my dad because i never wanna fall again infront of that woman.
I hold myself on for every single reason but i was never happy.
I'm tired to face it.
Be it friendship, relationship or kinship, i'm a soreloser.

I'll be back when i need to work or when i feel like.

And i'm telling everyone, i'm someone who hate to be even alone going downstair to buy a drink!
So imagine how much i fear about being on my own ?
It not that i fearof ghost, it just that i don't feel to be left all alone in this world again.
I hate the past ~!
I hate ppl who create all the hurt!
I hate myself for being who i'm !
I'm not even strong at all !
I'm not even cheerfull all time !

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♥YuLing♥
Every 11th of august, age-ing.
Always having my Beloved Girlfs holding on me.
The stubborness and sillyness.

She have to be strong, to go through all the ups and downs in her life.
It a mistake that her life had cross pass with that kind of guys.
But she'll never fall harder than before.